The Real You

My friend Heather smiles all the time.  I know because she is in my ward and I watch her. She smiles at the person giving the talk, the family singing the musical number, the Sunday School teacher.  She lives in the house behind me and when I see her in the neighborhood…she’s smiling.  When I pass her on the road she smiles and waves! 

I have known a few people like Heather, who smile a lot.  I want to be more like them. 

Sometimes when I’m doing the dishes or sweeping the floor, my seven-year old daughter will say to me, “What’s wrong?” 

I answer, “Nothing, why?” 

“Because your face looks like you’re mad.” 

Oops.  I’ve heard it takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile.  So I figured if it was less work, I may as well smile more. I practice smiling in the store.  I smile in the car.  Even when no one is around, I practice smiling.  At first it didn’t feel very natural and when I looked at my smile in the mirror it looked more like a smirk.  But I think my muscles are getting stronger because recently I smiled in the mirror and it looked quite pleasant. 

There are a lot of things like smiling that I want to improve about myself.  I imagine we all feel that way.  I have a little philosophy about becoming and being the “real you” or in other words, the person  deep down you know you can be. 

To some extent we know our strengths and weaknesses.  Often we notice someone else’s strength and wish we were more that way – like Heather, for instance. 

Here’s my philosophy: The good quality we notice in someone else is a quality we actually already possess, that is waiting to be developed.   It is in us, we just need to watch and learn from another’s example.  The fact that we notice the strength in someone else is our inner spirit’s desire to develop that quality.

Here’s another example.  We used to live in Colorado.  I had a friend named Linda.  Anytime I asked Linda for help she said yes in the most sincere and truly willing way.  I never felt like I was putting her out – she seemed so genuinely happy to help.  I wanted to be more like Linda and while that skill has definitely not come easily to me I have improved.  Just recently I offered help to a friend and she complimented my willingness and sincere desire to help!  That was one of the best compliments I have ever received and it made me want to keep trying.

Who is the real you?  Do you want to smile more?  Do you want to be organized?  Do you want to be a person who loves and accepts everyone?  Do you want to have a home in which everyone knows they are welcome?  Do you want to make the world’s best cheese ball?  (That is one of my strengths…Let me know and I can totally help you out.)

It is pretty easy to figure out…just think of someone’s example that you admire.  Watch as they use that quality.  You could even ask them how they do it – get a little one on one advice!

It is a pattern with which we are already familiar.  We know how to look to the Savior for our ultimate example.  And along the road of life, His qualities can be found in those around us. Following those examples can help us become our very best.  Our weaknesses truly can become our strengths and our strengths can be a blessing to others.  It is part of the cycle of becoming the “real you.”