A Year Later

Last April during spring break, our family drove to California.  We visited “Shamu”, played on the beach and went to a local ice cream shop more than we should have.  It was the weekend of General Conference.  From our beach-themed, rented condo, we watched.

Elder Palmer’s message, “Then Jesus Beholding Him Loved Him” caught the attention of my heart.  He recounted the story of the rich young man who asked the Savior what he might to do have eternal life.  As the young man waited for the Savior’s reply, Jesus beheld him and loved him then counseled the man to sell his riches and follow him.

As I heard this, I suddenly desired a similar experience.  I wanted the Savior to behold me, love me and then give counsel about what I need to do in my life to follow Him better.  My heart was open to how and what I needed to change in my life.  I was willing to hear and follow whatever guidance would come.

That very day I committed to praying for the Savior to look at my life – my heart – and let me know what I need to do to follow Him in a more dedicated way.  I prayed daily for the inspiration and direction to come.  I knew it might take several days, even a week or two for answers to be given.  I didn’t realize it would take a year.

For the first several months, I was consistent in my asking.  But as time went on, while I felt the love of the Savior, I’m not sure I felt the beholding or the direct answer to this question I was desiring.  I tucked the question away in my heart…until yesterday.

I felt a strong nudge to listen to Elder Bednar’s talk from the most recent General Conference entitled, “Meek and Lowly of Heart.”  The message is powerful and beautiful.  It made its way straight to my heart and the memory of my desire a year ago was revived.  I knew I was receiving the answer to my question.  God was telling me if I want to follow His Son and be more like Him, I needed to be meek.

Ironically, the story of the rich young man begins Elder Bednar’s message.  It is the same story that was the beginning of my journey a year ago.  Elder Bednar said the Master “gave the young man an additional requirement customized to his specific needs and circumstances.”

That is exactly what I received yesterday – an answer specific to my needs and circumstances.

I know the Lord has looked at my heart.  I know He loves me.  I know the counsel from a wise apostle is meant for me.

I’m ready to respond.  I’m humbled by the call.  As Elder Palmer mentioned, I feel to thank God for loving me enough to invite me to do more.

Blog to you soon,



One Comment

  1. rbollwinkel June 17, 2018 at 8:18 pm - Reply

    You are amazing always and forever! My niece and I went to your home a few years back for a personal performance complete with eats and good stuff. I expressed how your music has made such a difference in my life especially during hard times. You thanked us for coming and said you were honored to have us. I was blown away! You are a true example of meekness and Christ-like love and service. Thank you for being you and know you are appreciated and loved more than you can ever know!!!

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