Hello! I am back from the very last Time Out for 2008. It is bitter sweet. I am excited to be home for a while now on the weekends, but I love being with the amazing women that attend the events. Nashville was incredible! All I can say is, Las Vegas….you’ve got yourselves some competition! The women from Nashville and the surrounding areas are fantastic! They were so appreciative that we had come to town! It was a great event and I can’t wait to tell you about a little miracle that happened there…
All year, where ever I have traveled, I have been singing a brand new song called “Just Let Me Cry.” Each time before singing the song, I have told the story of how I wrote the song. Many of the songs I write come from the experiences of others who are willing to share their stories with me. Stories of hope. Stories of heartache.
A couple of years ago, I was in Ohio - Toleedo, to be exact. I met a woman there who told me her eight year old niece was dying of a brian tumor. I was so touched by her story. I have little girls of my own and for a mother, a situation like that really tugs at the heartstrings. This good aunt contacted me when her niece passed away. I sent flowers. I am not exactly sure why. I had never met the family and I probably never would. My husband Tim, however, encouraged me to send the flowers…and I’ll be forever grateful I did.
After receiving the flowers, the Williams family sent me a DVD of Devan’s life. I was touched beyond words. I opened the DVD and found this poem inside:
Please, don’t ask….
Please, don’t ask us if we’re over “it” yet. We’ll never be over it.
Please, don’t tell us they’re in a better place. They aren’t with us.
Please don’t say, “At least they aren’t suffering.” We haven’t come to terms with why they had to suffer at all.
Please, don’t tell us you know how we feel unless you have lost a child.
Please, don’t ask us if we feel better. Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.
Please, don’t tell us, “At least you had them for a time.” What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don’t tell us, “God never gives you more than you can bear.”
Please, just tell us you are sorry.
Please, just say you remember our children, if you do.
Please, just let us talk about our children.
Please, mention our children’s names.
Please, just let us cry.
When I read that last line, I knew it had to be a song. There had to be a song that helped people mourn. A song that gave people permission to cry when they needed to. Crying is part of healing. It is a necessary step in the process. It doesn’t mean we don’t have hope or faith. It doesn’t mean that we don’t believe in the Atonement or the Savior’s ability to heal us. It is simply part of the journey back to joy.
I’ve been so grateful for the Williams family and for what they shared with me. And for the inspiration that lead to a song that I hope will bless many who need to mourn and those that mourn with them.
Nashville was my last event of the year. I really wanted the Williams family to know that Devan’s life and passing inspired a song that has already touched so many people. But I couldn’t find their address. I knew their address wasn’t in the DVD, but last week, I pulled it out anyway, just to see, just to be sure. It wasn’t there. So, I said a silent prayer that Heavenly Father would help me find a way to contact their family. He knows them and He knows how to find them.
My prayer was answered and a miracle happened. Devan’s grandma, Angel, was at the event in Nashville! It was amazing to meet her. I can’t really put into words how grateful I am to Heavenly Father for this miracle. Angel is a beautiful person and it was a blessing to meet her. Written on her face was the love she has for her Granddaughter. I am thrilled that now, I can contact their family, so they know the whole story.
As we approach this season of miracles - including the greatest miracle of all, the birth of the Savior of the world - may we remember that we worship of God of miracles. That He lives and will manifest His hand in our lives if we will let Him.
Blog to you soon. Love,
Hilary
